Back to the carpet…

solar-garden-gnomeThe phone rang this morning.  I was up a ladder at the time so HWIOO answered, “Hello.  No, she’s not.  Can I help.”

“Carpet- yes, that’s right.  You’re fitting it tomorrow.”

Obviously the conversation was somewhat one sided from my point of view but the gist was clear.

“Oh. I see and you don’t know when the delivery is due?”

I could hear the distant voice of Mike saying something about unexpected delays.

“There’s a problem with Friday.  is there another day,” This said to me.

“Saturday or Monday.”  Did Mike the Gnome not see what Smaug did to that town?  Was it not apparent from our last conversation that I’m a woman who expects her carpet to be delivered and may become a bit grumpy if it doesn’t show up?

“Saturday or Monday.”

“You don’t fit carpets on Saturday. Monday then.”

There was a long pause which even I could hear down the line.

“Its the delivery lorry,” HWIOO frowned, “You don’t know when it’ll arrive.  So can you fit the carpets tomorrow or not.”

I was sure I heard the word Wednesday but HWIOO ignored the ramblings of the owner of Gnomical Carpets.  In fact I’d have to say the Mike the Gnome was lucky not to be in receipt of an audit, quality assessment and preparatory Ofsted inspection resulting in distinctly unsatisfactory from HWIOO’s tone of voice.

Now I don’t know about you but it looks like those gnomes are still carrying my carpet down dale and up hill without the aid of a compass.  Though apparently they might be able to find their way here after all – possibly maybe- on time for tomorrow’s carpet fitting.  And if it does arrive it could appear at any point of time during the day…so on that principle we have carted most stuff downstairs and first thing tomorrow we will put everything else in the bathroom. Mike the Gnome, who clearly isn’t the brightest gnome at the bottom of the garden, really doesn’t want to know how cross I’ll be if its been a pointless exercise – but then I don’t think I’ll have to breathe fire because by the looks of it HWIOO may be having words.

Now where is that dvd of The Hobbit –  it’s either that or go and look at the air bubbles that came back up when I applied paint to the wall paper.


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